That beautiful Evening

It was Friday and I decided I was not going to do anything. I wanted to just stay in my house, watch a movie maybe, and mainly sleep. I really did not want to do ANYTHING. The song The Lazy Song by Bruno Mars perfectly applied to my status at that time, I would only change the rhythm of the song, a few words, and I would make it a little more boring and slower, so it would fit even better. 

I felt tired, angry, and maybe even a little sad. I did not know why, but this was not the first time it happened to me, so I did not get scared or anything. To make this even better, it was beginning to rain and the sky was full of gray clouds. Well, to tell the truth, there were not any clouds to be seen, but the sky was completely gray, so I supposed they were so many that they had to become one huge one, blocking the sun completely. Not even a sunbeam could be seen. Because of this, the weather turned very cold, like it was a November or December evening, so I had to put on a sweater and a pair of socks, which I hate using inside my house, but in this case it was perfect for the occasion. 

Before all this, I came back from school at 3:00 pm like every other day. I went to the bathroom and my employee ask me if I was going to eat, I agreed. Then, I went to the kitchen, I ate a bit, and I went upstairs to my parents bedroom. 

Why their bedroom and not mine? I do not have a TV, because my dad thinks that if he puts a TV on my bedroom or my sister's bedroom, our family could separate. 

I got inside my parents bed and turned the TV on. After a time I noticed that there was nothing interesting to watch, so I turned it off. I took out my iPod, my headphones, and disconnected myself from reality. Lying there, doing almost nothing, I stared at the window that has a view to the forest, and obviously to the sky too, which, as I said before, was completely gray, like the color of the blocks of our classroom. Not with the same texture for sure, but the color is very alike. In that moment I felt calm. I felt some kind of peace I cannot have when I am in school, or in a party, or not even in my own house. 

Now that I think about it, I realize that if the sky would have been completely clear with a big, yellow, and shinning sun that if you look at it directly your eyer would hurt, I would not have felt this kind of peace, neither I would have been all tired and angry. It would have changed the situation completely. Maybe I would have not felt the way I did, and I would be all happy and exited. Maybe I would have gone to the movies, or to a friend's house, or a friend would have come to my house, I don't know, maybe even a party. The sure thing is that it would have been different. Very different. 

Therefore, I reached a conclusion. Weather can be a great influence in how you feel, what you wear, and what you do. So next time you think about it, don't see it like just weather, think of it as a thing that can determine what you do the day it decides to be different.

Never judge a book until you have completely read it

I was born August 4, 1995. My cousin, Jose, was born September 5, 1995. I am only one month and one day older than him, so we are very close. I consider him more like my brother than my cousin, because we do many things together. We grow up by each other’s side. 

When we were four years old we were in the same school, “Colegio Internacional de Guatemala”, but one year later I changed school. However, we were still very close, because we saw each other every Saturday in my grandma’s house. Last year I, again, changed to “Colegio Internacional de Guatemala”, so we became even closer.

One day, when I didn’t study in Internacional yet, we were watching TV in my grandmother’s house, he came with this little joke:

“I have a girlfriend!” said Jose one Saturday.

“What?! When?! And Why?!” was my answer.

“Yes, look at her picture” and he showed me his phone.

I instantly didn’t like her, she have me a bad feeling. She seemed a very spoiled girl. In the picture she appeared holding both hands with Jose and they were making eye contact. Both of them were very formally dressed. She was wearing a green dress that reached to her knee, and he was wearing a black suit, with a white shirt and a tie.

I do not know why I didn’t like her, I just didn’t. Maybe because I am a jealous person. No, I do not think that was the real reason. Just kidding, it obviously was. I didn’t like the thought of him with her. Nevertheless, what could I do? Nothing. It was his life and only he could decide with whom to be. This was my consolation. I told him that I didn’t like her, but I never explained why or how much.  I just thought he might have his own reason to like her, and me, instead, didn’t even know her.

Last year when I passed from Colegio Valle Verde to Colegio Internacional I had the grateful honor to met her. This is what I call “sarcasm”. In real life she seemed shorter and way shyer. For this time my cousin and her were no longer boyfriends, but that didn’t changed my opinion about her. I sill didn’t like her, at all.

Thankfully she was not in my class, so I didn’t worry about her for a time, until I started to become friends with her best friend, Mariam. Mariam was a really good friend so I went to spent recess with them. Not because of her, obviously, but because of Mariam. When one of the three of us was talking we all listened, but if it was her who was talking, she only talked to Mariam. And if it was I, I only talked to Mariam too. This made recess a very uncomfortable and awkward time.

With time we started becoming friends, or maybe we were just getting used to it. By this time, in the recess if someone was talking, she talked to all three, not to just one, like before. However, I still liked Mariam more, she seemed more honest, sincere, and better friend. The year passed by like this. I still didn’t like her completely, and I am sure she still felt exactly the same.

At the end of the year thing were a lot better. I could say we were friends, not the best ones, but we were good ones.

This year it changed completely. We became very close. Much more than I could have ever imagined.  I trusted her completely, and I am sure she trusted me too. She is very funny and she always made me laugh. I could pass hours laughing because of her fault. We had the advantage that we live very close, so I went to her house many times, and she went to mine.

She accidentally taught me that I should never judge someone by his/her looks, not even if someone told me something about them or something like that. You should always get to know people by yourself, before you make wrong conclusions about them that have nothing to do with how they truly are.

My Secret Time

Okay, so I am all alone in my room, doing nothing. I am sitting right here in my bed in the same spot as the other nights, listening music and thinking many things. This is what I do all the nights. I just sit here and enjoy the little time I have alone. I love being alone. I like the feeling that I can be myself without worrying about what people might think about me. I know I should be myself and do not care about others all the time, but I just can't. I like people to like me, so I think I care about what people think too much. Being all by myself let's me rest a little bit about worrying about that. 

This year I started a new "ritual" without noticing it. Yes, today was the day I noticed I really had a ritual. All the nights, when I "should" be sleeping, I lay awake in my bed doing various things. From reading a book, being on Facebook or Twitter or listening to music, to just laying down and think. 

So all the nights I go to my parents bedroom, say goodbye to each one, give them a kiss and come back to my lovable room. My room is besides my parents bedroom, but between both rooms is their walking closet, so we are not that close. 

My door is dark brown and the door lock is silver. In my room there is a king-sized bed, which I love, a little living room, with two little sofas and four little desks that make one, and only one piece of furniture with drawers, not counting the nightstands of course because they are glued to my bed. There are also four lamps, apart from the two big ones, one right above my bed and the other one above the little living room hanging in the ceiling. Surrounding the one above my head there are six "ojos de buey". There are not many things in here because my house is minimalist, so all my house is like that, with little decoration. But describing my house is definitely NOT my ritual, so returning to the story.. 

All the nights I sit exactly in the same spot in my bed. I sit in the lower right part because that's the only little place in my whole bed that I can have wifi. I can also have wifi in my bathroom or if I sit right in front of my door, but those are not very comfortable places, so I prefer my little spot. 

I sit in this same spot for different time each day, from ten minutes to two hours (this is the longest I've been here), depending on my mood and what I am doing. 

One thing that I have thought while sitting there, is that I would like time to stop everytime I am here. Time goes by too fast when I am alone! I don't know why and I absolutely do not like it. But time never makes any favor, so it keeps running, and I finally go to sleep very late, making me feel really tired the next day. My parents don't know I do this every night, they would get really mad at me because they always say that I should sleep more, since I am the one that wakes up earlier every day. Just for you to know, I wake up at 4:45 am every day and my sister, who is the second one to wake up, wakes up at 5:40 am. So if they found out that I go to sleep that late because of this, they sure would get mad. But now that I am used to this special time with me, I can't quit it. I do love sleeping, but I always think that I will have enough time for sleeping the next weekend. 

I am very happy that I discovered this little ritual, I don't know how it started or why, it simply did. I think it is very good to spend some time with yourself so you can get to know you. Even if you don't like being alone, you should try it one day, maybe you, just like me, really like being alone sometimes... 

*extra point* 

How time passes..

It's amazing how time goes by, changing things, changing people, changing even places. Time can not be seen or touched. As said by the dictionary it is "The indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present, and future regarded as a whole." But that doesn't really explain what time is. For me, time is a way that people explain how things happen, but that is not the point of this essay. 

My grand-parents made a house near the beach in 1996. They called it "JTO" because of the acronyms of "I will never forget you" in spanish. They chose this name because when they were young my grandfather dedicated this song to my grandmother. 

For the next ten years, every little vacation or long weekend we had, we went there. It was like a my second home. I remember that every time that my parents said that we were going to Obero, this is the name of the little town "JTO" is located, I felt extremely happy. I don't know why I liked that much to go there, but I just did.

The place has a square-shaped pool that is not very deep, because no one in my family is very tall. Beside the pool there is a one-level house with four bedrooms, one for each family, one kitchen, and one living room. In front of the pool there is also a ranch that is where we spent almost all the time we are there. There is a big backyard, that we use to make fires or play some games, surrounding the ranch, the house, and the square-shaped pool. There is also many types of trees, because my grandmother loves fruits, so there is a tree of avocados, two of lemons, one of papayas, three of cauliflower cashew, and many more. 

"JTO" is located in a condominium called "Santa Sofia del Mar", but there are not many habited houses. So when we go there we are almost the only ones. That makes "JTO" a very peaceful and quiet place. There are no paved streets, or lampposts, or even TV signal. When we go there we disconnect ourselves from the external world. 

I remember that when I was little and I was in Obero, it in a very big place, with many things to do and explore. I spent almost all my time in the pool. Since I woke up around seven or eight, till seven or eight in the night, when it was time for dinner. Yes, I got out of there for lunch or bathroom. Only for that. I LOVED the pool. It was the best place in the world for me, I could be whatever I wanted to be and do whatever I wanted to do. Well, if it didn't include drowning of course.   My mother bothered me saying that with time I would become a mermaid or a fish. 

The only thing I didn't like about Obero was the nights. There was a heat that I couldn't stand, too many mosquitoes, and stuff like that. I just didn't like the nights, but when the sun came out the next day everything changed. For me Obero was the place where I wished I could live.

With time we started going less and less until one year we went only four times. I don't know why that happened, maybe more homework, more job, more responsibilities or just less TIME. No one in my family liked that, but we couldn't do anything. My family tried to go more, but it was just impossible. With time we became used to it and we only went for Easter Week and New Year. It is very sad because my little sister and my cousins never enjoyed the amazing feeling that I got there, but that is just how life is. 

The last time I went there EVERYTHING was changed. Not physically, because it was still desolated, but the way I saw it. This time I saw the place smaller even though it is not small. I went in the pool twice a day for less than ten minutes. I hated the feeling of being wet after the pool and that I couldn't sit on the chairs because they would get wet. Other reason I didn't enjoyed it that much was that sometimes the water was too cold. Of course it has always been this way, but before I didn't feel it. Now the nights were not that bad. Yes, there is the same amount of mosquitoes, and yes, the heat is the same, but that didn't matter, it was okay to me this time. 

I guess Obero will never be the same as before, and I will not get the same enthusiasm every time I go there, but it's a place that has so much meaning to my family and me that I just will not change it. I hope that when I grow up and have my own kids, I could find a place and make it that special to them, because it was amazing to have a place that I could be completely happy without worrying a thing. 

It's amazing how time passes..